


i like the salt water sting

by sketchling



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Blood and Gore, Dragon Age II Spoilers, Dragon Age: Inquisition Spoilers, F/F, Implied Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-06
Updated: 2015-03-06
Packaged: 2018-03-16 14:20:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3491555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sketchling/pseuds/sketchling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And indeed, Marian thinks now, loving Isabela is also a lot like drowning in the ocean. It’s numb and so cold that it feels pleasantly lukewarm, and she finds herself sinking further and further into the unknown depths each passing day. She knows there’s no possible way she could ever tame its churning waves or explore all of it, but she likes to remain blissfully ignorant and believe that it’s a possibility.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i like the salt water sting

It’s something that’s rarely spoken out loud.

It was first said on accident after her duel with the Arishok, and Marian’s not even sure she actually heard it (of course when she asked, Isabela quickly dismissed it as a figment of the warrior’s imagination; a result of the significant loss of blood). Death feels like drowning, Marian has come to learn - your vision blurs and darkens at the edges, and everything sounds as though you’re being dragged into the depths of the ocean. But as she faded in and out of existence, she knows she heard it; the pleading, hoarse distant voice of her lover breathed the words into the palm of Marian’s limp hand. They’ve stayed there ever since, like a stain.

(And indeed, Marian thinks now, loving Isabela is also a lot like drowning in the ocean. It’s numb and so cold that it feels pleasantly lukewarm, and she finds herself sinking further and further into the unknown depths each passing day. She knows there’s no possible way she could ever tame its churning waves or explore all of it, but she likes to remain blissfully ignorant and believe that it’s a possibility.)

It isn’t said aloud again for a very long time after that; not explicitly, anyways. Isabela whispered it in between the syllables of a desperate, “Tell me I’m not going to lose you” before the final battle in Kirkwall. It’s something that was said again (but still unspoken) shortly later when they were back-to-back in the heat of battle with golden statues towering over them. And then again the next morning; when they’re on a boat in off the Wounded Coast and tangled in sheets, it was implied in the way Marian’s hands roamed Isabela’s body like she was the endless sea, in the moans muffled against a bare shoulder, in the urgent but relieved whispers of, “We’re alive.”

Aveline, of course, has often criticized their relationship. She’d once told Marian that it didn’t seem healthy to be without constant affirmations of love. The Hawke had simply shrugged at the time, because she knew there would be no telling her otherwise; she also didn’t have words for it to explain it. It’s a large part of their relationship: the implications and metaphors. Every implication and unspoken affection Isabela provides her with is just as earth-shattering, though. When the rogue had asked Marian to leave with her on a boat, she might as well have asked her to marry her.

She loves all of the unspoken words as much as the spoken ones but yet now, as Marian Hawke physically stands within the Fade with a grotesque demon of fear looming over her, she finds herself regretting not saying it directly more. And when she’s collapsed on the ground, her stomach pierced clean through by one of the demon’s spider-like legs, she feels like she’s drowning again. Marian swears she hears Isabela’s muted voice beckoning her further into the dark abyss.

And she lets herself sink.

**Author's Note:**

> i felt like writing angst whoops hope u like word vomit
> 
> the title is from the song 'in the sea' by ingrid michaelson ((super fitting for this pairing btw)))


End file.
